I’m Not a Racist.., But...

We’ve all heard this statement before, right? Like most people, I’m amazingly good at condemning other people for their prejudices, their faults and foibles, but rather more reluctant to examine my own prejudices and faults. Aren’t we all? This was going to be one of those self righteous rants packaged as a Christian blog post, where I point my finger at other people, crack a few funnies, chastise and chide everyone else and then sit back in my imaginary ‘Big Boss’ leather upholstered armchair bathing smugly in the afterglow of my undiscovered genius, and all but light myself a celebratory Cuban cigar at a job well done. That’ll show ‘em!!!? But, no!!!! I’ve seen the light, hallelujah!!!! I realise, and actually have for a long time, that I come replete with all kinds of prejudices coupled with the obligatory rationalised, and most definitely self righteous, judgemental attitude that can politely and sweetly look at everyone else’s faults and sum them up in one fell swoop. It’s like one of those super powers, that no one really admits to, that we all have. It’s a negative power, if you like. Coming from a relatively poor, but by no means poverty stricken, background, I have had a bit of a chip on my shoulder (or is that two BIG chips, one for each shoulder?) for quite a long time, and I do admit that I can wonder from the path of my usual tolerant self (that’s irony and humour, all in one!) and be, shock horror, PREJUDICED!!? Who, me?? Yeah, the very same, yours truly, can be prejudiced. My prejudice, the one that really gets me going, is more a class prejudice than anything else, usually directed at those who I perceive are prejudiced about my supposed low born origins, whatever that really means, so because all those successful middle class people automatically hate me, I can hate them in return without any guilt, and with bags of justification. You see, we never really talk about class differences and class discrimination in the UK, it’s probably the biggest elephant in the room, and yet at the same time is the biggest marker of social distinction and social division between the majority of people, probably long before racism and anything else. It is, sad to say, an acceptable and certainly accepted prejudice, and I suspect one that is hard to explain and understand to people outside the British Isles and possibly particularly most of all, England. What’s ironic in my case, and also in many other people too, is that despite my humble and relatively poor but most definitely working class origins, I am an educated man to degree level standard, particularly well read and knowledgeable about, and interested in, many varied subjects, have a number of talents including a creative talent that encompasses photography, guitar playing and writing, a burgeoning skill in cooking, and I present myself and talk in a smart, presentable and professional way. Hardly the roughest person you’ll ever meet, and often people think I am middle class, so..... so, I realised that some of my prejudice here is rather curious, to say the least, and though any prejudice might even be based on some generalised grains of truth, sifted and gleaned through my faulty perspective and prejudiced assumptions (you can see that degree wasn’t wasted!), when any one of us holds on to a prejudice and starts to base their attitudes to others and life in general on those very weak foundations, we can’t be surprised if things start to appear as if we are right, even if we are, in most cases, completely wrong. And, whatever the case, all it will do is make us unhappy, obsessed and boring to be around. My class prejudice is no different than racism, anti Semitism, misogyny, homophobia or any other that sends people off on a tangent of anger, hatred and ultimately discord with other people and dysfunctionalism on a very personal level. On a very personal level, I pray about this now because I don’t want to be a bigot anymore. I have one advantage; well, two. God has made me aware of my problem, and if He has, He will work with me to understand it and ultimately to pray about it because I don’t want to live under this grey cloud anymore. So, I believe I have done, and am doing, what God wants me to do, which before trying to change the world and tackle all its problems...is to change myself and tackle my own problems, whilst walking with God.  

 

I could have called this post ‘I’m Not a Racist.., But... I Have Prejudices Like Everyone Else’ or ‘Thank You Lord, For Not Making Me Like Those Pharisees!’ or ‘I’m Very Good at Pointing Fingers at Everyone Else’ but I think the title I chose is the best, as it is short and to the point, and it is ambiguous enough to make people read and think the worst, or amuse (or bemuse) the casual reader, who expected one thing, and found another! I like to shake people up sometimes, but there is usually now some method in my madness, and although I am known to be very inquisitive and often ask my friends and sometimes even acquaintances very open questions purely for interest and curiosity’s sake, I never ever mean to hurt people or ever slyly want to upset them. But I know I do, sometimes. I need people to know on here, and outside the cyber world, that God is slowly but surely changing me and that I apologise for my bombastic nature and attitude and even some of the stuff already on here. I’m a work in progress.

 

Like most people, I have friends from all walks of life and different social backgrounds and a number of different countries, dotted around the world here and there. Even some in good ol’ Blighty, believe it or not!?  I’m blessed by God in that respect. I will probably always write about the poor and the marginalised because my Irish ancestors were probably most definitely wretches escaping the famine or the aftermath of the Great Famine in Ireland and my family have been essentially working class people since then, for the most part anyway. But, life hasn’t been a constant struggle for me, and I am grateful for that, too. On this blog, I want to downplay the resentment and anger, and put more focus and emphasis on my Christian faith and include a lot of cheeky humour, too. Most people who know me would tell you that I am far more likely to crack a witticism, sometimes an inappropriate one(!), than I am to be deadly and earnestly serious. I can lose that sense of silliness, fun and humour when I am too serious, and I don’t want to. But Christianity, and the Christian life, can be a deadly earnest business sometimes, where we have to have faith in God and hold on to His promises even when we go through prolonged negative situations or circumstances as I have for a couple of years now. It’s almost blind faith, but not quite, as I can see and feel that I am changing for the better, slowly but surely, and slow progress is always better than no progress. Financial struggles, unemployment, a number of health issues and feeling rather down because of it all. Apart from that, I’ve been fine!! I know God is doing a work in me, because I know I need to change, and what’s more I want to change. You may find that something strange seems to be happening in your life, now or sometime in the future, and it confuses you or upsets you and it might literally bring you to your knees in desperation where only praying to God will begin to make sense. It may be that God has to bring you to such a place, where you feel completely washed up, so that He can help you. When things are going good, most of us tend to forget God. I know I have, and many times. It’s amazing that when many of us go through trials and tribulations, our last resort is often God, when He should always be our first priority. It’s also that our faith, as such, can often be paper thin, and so consequently our Christian walk is lacking substance and we might not have a relationship with God at all. Prayers may just become ritual and not much more. And if our prayer life is lacking in either truth, true desire or a genuine attempt to pray for God’s will to be done on earth, in heaven and very much so in our day to day lives, then we’re just fooling ourselves. Faith is not a set of rules, of do’s and don’ts, nor necessarily ‘being good’ or some kind of constant self discipline leading inevitably to disappointment, nor is it any of us obtaining a respectable front, while covering over our defects. It’s obviously not the opposite of these things either, it is being obedient to God, sometimes radically obedient when circumstances or people or your own feelings seem to dictate otherwise, having faith completely in God and developing a friendship with Him. Trying to be good, or religious, is really putting faith in our own efforts and not God, and sooner or later you will fall flat on your face. If we all spent just half as much time working on our character faults, judgemental attitude and pride instead of the time we spend pointing fingers at others, we would all be in a better place. That’s told ya!!!!

 

Oh, Happy Christmas by the way! And, a Happy New Year!!! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!!! Or, possibly, don’t do anything I would do??!!!

Christian, Looking For Love?!

If you have ever used dating columns in newspapers or online dating of some kind, which I have, you may know of the excitement at the idea you might meet someone without a great deal of effort and that a friendship might lead to something more, and then the disappointment when things don’t turn out right for some reason, whatever that reason might be. Been there, seen the film, wore the t-shirt and writing the blog sob story on it now, too! The strange thing is, although there is humour in many of the experiences most of us have had on the dating scene, finding love, finding a soulmate, is actually a very serious business indeed. And, when it doesn’t go as planned, it seems to cause a lot of frustration, a lot of soul searching, a lot of sadness and even pain. To fail in this area is very painful, and I think many men and women who have been unlucky in love a number of times start to feel they will never meet anyone, either because they have had a number of bad relationships or even because they have tried to have a number of bad relationships, and failed! Speaking purely from a Christian sense now, the world of love, dating and romance can be as secular and empty of God’s purpose as anything else can be without asking God into it. God is the Lord of your love life as well as your life, is what I’m saying, or should be! Before really living as a Christian since I was about thirty, I sought casual relationships when going out drinking with my mates, even though deep down after having analysed this I was really looking for a true romantic emotional connection and not brief encounters, which most of them were. As my pastor would say, and he is a good bloke, I had my priorities all wrong. The ulterior motives of most people on a night out involving alcohol, men and women both, tends to be more earthly than spiritual certainly when people are drinking and usually won’t end well, even when at the back of people’s minds there is a desire to make a real connection, rather than a casual and meaningless encounter of some kind. There seem to be so many Christians, and I have met a number them, and have been one myself, who think that Christian faith and exercising that faith is basically just going to church, being morally minded, being a respectable person and not a great deal more. You tell people even in churches to pray before making big decisions and they sometimes look at you a little strangely, or you just tell them to ask God into important decisions, and it has as if you have asked something strange. In many cases, and I can be accused of this only too well, God seems to be the last consideration and last priority, when He should be our first priority.

 

Jesus, the Bridegroom?

The idea that Jesus is the bridegroom and the church, basically the worldwide group of people who call Jesus Christ their Lord, is the bride is a biblical one. I haven’t really given that analogy a great deal of thought before, but in the light of romance, love and relationships, it begins to make a sense. Christianity is far less religion, and far far more about relationship, relationship with God, relationship with other Christians and a relationship with a disbelieving world, too. God’s love is pro-active, warm, compassionate, nurturing, redeeming, forgiving, conciliatory, and ultimately His first real priority in our lives, perhaps after straitening us out, is to have a personal and intimate relationship, a close friendship, with all true Christians on a daily and ongoing basis. That’s a lifelong, and beyond, relationship that has little to do with formal and traditional Christianity. It’s what God wants for us, to walk with Him and consider Him, as we say in Liverpool, our ‘best mate’, our best friend, confidant, guide, healer and much much more. A marriage is meant to be for life and never to be taken lightly, on either party, and God never takes a relationship He initiates with us lightly, either, even when many Christians do. I know I did. This tells me that God will love us passionately even when we don’t want to know, quite frankly, even if God has to bring us back to Him through discipline, chastisement or even some kind of suffering, that may stop us in our tracks until we start calling on God again. We don’t choose Him, He chooses us! I may add, having a calling on your life from God is not necessarily to be a vicar or reverend or priest, nor do you need to have a theology degree or anything like that, it is to live as a Christian, obey God and make Him the first priority in your life. Every human being was created by God, therefore we are all His children ultimately. In the end, there are either Christians, and people who have a potential to be Christians. I’m  not going to get into arguments about Calvinism, Universalism, Antinomianism, Arminianism and many other views of Christianity, because I can’t be bothered! More seriously, I’ve heard articulate arguments for and against a number of theological arguments, and they are not particularly too deep or difficult to grasp, but I don’t know what to believe. Some people say God calls some to serve Him, but not all, and other arguments say that everyone gets called, but not everyone answers, and there are similar arguments along those lines. I personally just don’t know, I let God sort it all out. As God loves us, so we are to love others. So the analogy of bridegroom and bride is more than just symbolism, it talks about a serious relationship based on a deepening and growing mutual love, a partnership that is to be taken absolutely seriously on both sides, a ‘marriage covenant’ if you like that we as Christians make with Jesus, one that is based on love, relationship and partnership. That’s absolutely nothing like cold, sterile religion, and far from the Christianity many outside the faith, and even some Christians think is Christianity either, is it?

 

God wants to be loved for who He is. Don’t we all?!

Many men have seen that in order to find a woman and get her to fall in love with him and get married and all the rest of it, he must win her heart. So far, so good. But love, romance, and marriage seems to be cluttered and muddied with so many other things that have little if anything to do with love, particularly when a man, and it is more likely to refer to men in this case, has to be wealthy, or have a good job, nice house and a flashy car to be attractive to some women, but obviously not all. It is being wanted, maybe even loved, for what someone has rather than who they are. Any relationship based on such a contract will fail eventually, or will be dysfunctional to some degree. In the same way, I think many attractive women want to be loved for who they are and not just for their beauty. We are all really searching for something deeper than skin deep attraction or a romance based on something peripheral or ultimately ephemeral. We want to be loved for who we are, like our families love us, or should. God loves us unconditionally, and our love in all cases should try to be the same. I don’t think it is possible for any human to love in such a way, but when we understand that love is meant to be selfless, focussed away from ourselves and on others, and that our love should be for God and for human beings and not for material things or experiences or sensory pleasures. Not easy in a world filled with all kinds of attractions and distraction. But I know that when I start to rest in God’s peace, and make time for Him, and even sit in silence with the television off for some part of the evening and just meditate on God and His mercy and compassion and His many promises for my life, particularly the peace that passes understanding, I begin to see that the peace that the world cannot give, but only God can, is one of the most precious gifts God can give us, apart from the material blessings He can and will give us. You can enjoy what little you might have when you have inner peace, but without that peace all the best things money can buy will not bring anything that comes anywhere near close. Peace is its own reward, and, sometimes, it’s just nice to be loved for who we are.

 

Looking For a soulmate?

Well, I guess we all are, but not to digress, when we are looking for the perfect person, the soulmate who will compliment us in every way, we tend to focus solely on them, and we all have a tendency to want perfection in someone else, and then get angry or disappointed or feel let down in some way when Miss, or Mr, Perfect doesn’t quite live up to our expectations. We all seem to forget, usually without really thinking about it, that it takes two to tango, it really does take two to dance perfectly in step, and in this case focussing too much on every person you think might be the ‘One’ is the first mistake we make in finding love. In the desperate search for our ‘soulmate’, by looking earnestly but in a rather distracted fashion wherever we go for him/her/other, we are looking too much at other people, we are losing some of our peace and we are not really thinking about what we can offer someone else. In this case, I believe that we need to focus on ourselves, what we offer someone else, and perhaps obviously what we are looking for in a relationship. This means asking God into it, and praying about it. You may also consider the fact that as you are looking for a soulmate, so are many other people. And I suspect that many of them are putting the onus on the other person to be perfect, and not reflecting on themselves. Quite simply, and to cut a long story short, if you are looking for your soulmate, you need to be the soulmate someone else is looking for. This means that learning to be patient while you wait, learning to relax and enjoy your singleness even, and being the person you really want to be is vital. I don’t know about you, but I have spent large chunks of my life pretending to be someone else, or living up to someone else’s expectations of me (when they probably couldn’t give a toss anyway) when now I want to be the person God wants me to be, and really find out who I am. I just want to be loved for who I am. Don’t we all?

It Took Me 33 Years to Get to Church

I don’t mean literally, I mean figuratively, metaphorically even. In short, I’ve been a Christian, of sorts, far longer than I have been a churchgoer. Why, you may ask? Indeed, that is if you are asking. Church, and Christianity or religion or faith, seems largely irrelevant to many people’s lives today, certainly in the UK. Our cousins across the ‘Duckpond’, in the United States, the self proclaimed greatest country in the world, seem far more into their faith, and far more Christian in their lifestyle and beliefs than we in the UK are, but on closer examination much of their faith seems fastened to a notion of superiority, or a worship of materialism, especially money. Not all, of course, but some of it seems more money oriented and corporate than over here. Or, does it?

I had the great fortune (or was it God’s specific purpose?) to first go to a very good church in Liverpool, and now go to a very good church in Prescot, which is near Liverpool. I was a Christian, more or less, when I was thirteen but it took me thirty three years to get to church. Why? For a number of reasons, I suppose. I don’t come from a Christian background, my family are not Christian at all and basically don’t believe in any of it, the community I grew up in was not religious or Christian, only in a nominal sense, and the decade I grew up in was the 70s, when God was gently being eased out by secular tendencies and growing scientific advances and the afterglow of that much vaunted decade the 60s, where anything went, and pop music and free love would save us, and we would all live happily ever after.

But, after the big party, the inevitable hangover. Without God, the best ideals however fondly promoted and however good and cherished they may be, disappear into the ether and vanish to become another part of history. The Hippy ideals and values disappeared, along with their long hair, bell bottoms and kaftans!

So, where was I? Oh yes, I also come from a relatively poor and most definitely working class background too. Whether that has any relevance to my little tale, time will tell, but I think it does. England, and perhaps the British Isles as a whole, seems to be far less Christian than it appeared to be in the past and although I don’t have any statistics here to show you, there has been a drastic decline in church attendance in Britain since the 1950s. But, are all churchgoers actually Christians? Hmmm. Anyway, there could be a number of reasons for this. One might be that it doesn’t fit our varied lifestyles anymore. Another could be that religion seems old hat, mediaeval, Victorian, something people from the past did because they didn’t have smartphones, laptops, iPads and the Internet and a thousand and one other distractions that many of us today take for granted. Perhaps it  might also be that going to church is seen as boring and as conforming, when conformity is not seen as necessary anymore, and that church, in the broadest sense, is also far more about a nice social club for nice people that have it all together and go to church to confirm their niceness, and be extra super duper nice on Sunday! Hurrah! I can tell you that many people from my background, and that in the broadest term being ‘working class’, often feel that church, more often as they imagine it rather than the actual reality, is for well dressed, rather well spoken, affluent people with good jobs, nice houses and expensive cars who on being successful in life, wish to add the icing on the cake of being successful in the spiritual realm, too. But at any rate, what passed for church when I was a kid seemed to be about people who were a cut above people like me and the people that I come from. In some senses this is often similar to people in politics and in the media and in business and in general circles of influence and power: people who are polished, speak in the right way, say the right things, have good jobs and money and assured futures. In one sense, class has always been an issue in England, and Britain in general, but it seems more and more class divisions again matter to some people, and the economic divisions, which are really at the heart of class divisions, have grown much wider. Those on the right side of the class divides can relax in affluence and good jobs and a media and political system that largely supports them. Those on the wrong side of the class divides, even those of us with decent educations and not from the poorest backgrounds by any means, may struggle to find decent employment and instead find insecure and constantly low paid temporary jobs, little opportunity to buy a house and no way of planning any future. It isn’t even the scarcity of decent jobs that affects people the most, it is the uncertainty, the uncertainty of the present time, and perhaps particularly the uncertainty of their distant futures. I may add, that it is also when poor people who are struggling are expected to endure that poverty and hardship, when they know others are getting richer and living happy and affluent lives, that emotional pain and suffering and resentment begin to surface and fester. Usually in such circumstances, we are told endlessly that there isn’t money to pay fair wages and yet seeing wealthy people get wealthier merely shows this to be a lie. This is not a political or social rant, by the way, I merely wish to make a point. The media then either paints a hard luck story to this reality or more perniciously they start to attack those struggling with unemployment or in low paid jobs with either ‘they are feckless and workshy’ angle, or the ‘it’s hard but it’s the same everywhere’ angle. Whatever the case, unfairness and injustice and politically biased decisions are either justified or at least rationalised, rationalised to those who benefit from them anyway. In this mix we also have organised religion, which certainly in England’s case seems far more about being the ‘spiritual’ arm of the establishment than actually preaching the Gospel. So we return again to my view, and I know not just mine, that some organised Christianity in Britain, and maybe I can only really speak of England, doesn’t seem to be aimed at people who are struggling, not aimed at people who are more and more marginalised, not aimed at people who are homeless, not aimed at people basically who are seen as lesser in some way in the eyes of respectable society. In all honesty, does this not seem a travesty of the Gospel? It is true we are all in need of the Saviour, rich and poor, influential and marginalised alike, and ironically enough, it may be that the most lost, those who are desperately in need of salvation, are those who in worldly terms at least are wealthy, powerful, successful and secure in their assured futures. Assured till they die, that is. In this way, we are all actually outcasts and all in need of the Saviour, whoever we are. But the salient point is that organised Christianity in the UK, and also the US, seems aimed at affluent people with good jobs and secure futures, and that going to church is just confirming their material success topped off by spiritual success. But, as cosy as this is, and perhaps as understandable as it might be, does this truly represent real faith, the faith that Christ died on a cross for? Am I the only one who has uncomfortable questions and doubts about much of what passes for organised Christianity? Well, actually, no. I’ve talked to quite a few Christians about church and organised Christianity and even in casual conversations people have misgivings about traditional Christianity and traditional Christian churches. At the most extreme, and in a pretty in depth conversation with a very mature Christian there was a mention that the organised church as it appears as its worst is ‘the Whore of Babylon’. Whether that is true, or not, is not for me to say or guess at. I even know someone who was a pastor in a church and found the hierarchy and the status and the whole shebang so to speak completely limiting and obviously somehow false and who now holds a house group where they come together to worship Jesus and have fellowship just as they might in a more formal church without the formality and traditions attached to faith, worship and fellowship.

At worst, organised Christianity and traditional churches seem too nice, or even too formal and aloof, too ‘pat’, a kind of social club for those who’ve made it, or are respectable, and not much more. Even if the vicars or reverends or priests preach sermons from scripture or based on scripture, they can become platitudes if people only listen pleasantly and do not act or truly meditate on that scripture and learn the lessons from them. Mere pew fillers, mere Sunday morning one-day-a-week Christians are not going to make it anymore. God wants our obedience, our dedication to Him and our willingness to step out in faith, and way out of our comfort zone to begin to live the life He has always planned for us.

But, and there is always a but, thank God (?!), God can and does work through organised religion in spite of its many imperfections, and there are Christians in all walks of life, in and out of the organised denominations who serve the Lord first and foremost, and in actual fact God has to work through the imperfection of Christian organisations of every kind because he to work through the imperfections of Christians of every kind, because all humans, Christian or not, are imperfect!